Decision Made

Matt and I had some big decisions to make last month.  We did a lot of praying and talking and listening.  Listening to our family, friends, and each other.  But mostly listening to our hearts, specifically what God had put on our hearts.

We are not going to do IVF.  WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO IVF!!!!  That's how excited I am about this decision.

I mentioned in my last post that our small group prayed over us.  They prayed for clarity and for our decision to do IVF or not to be a godly decision.  While they were praying, I felt a calmness and a peace around this like I can't even explain.  I clearly heard that IVF was not for us and we don't need to do it.  I kept it quiet, I sat on that knowledge for a couple weeks while Matt prayed about it.  Matt wanted me to tell him what I knew, what I had decided.  But I kept it in, urging him to be patient and wait for God to reveal to him what He had decided for us.  

When Matt had come to his understanding, he kept it to himself because he was afraid I wouldn't like his answer.  (Such a sweet and wonderful husband, never wanting me to be unhappy and wanting to give me everything my heart desires.  Thank you God for this man.)  Matt looked me in the eye and said, "I don't think we should do this.  This isn't for us."  The exact words God put on my heart.  

Now the weight of trying to get pregnant is off our shoulders.  We still want to have a baby, we still want to be parents, BUT God is in control.  This is His, we are His, our family is His.

Will we still have tough moments while we wait for God to reveal His plan?  Absolutely!  I've already been there.  I focus on our God who is faithful, loving, and so so good.  Pray for us to be protected in those moments of humanness.

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