Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Decision Made

Matt and I had some big decisions to make last month.  We did a lot of praying and talking and listening.  Listening to our family, friends, and each other.  But mostly listening to our hearts, specifically what God had put on our hearts.

We are not going to do IVF.  WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO IVF!!!!  That's how excited I am about this decision.

I mentioned in my last post that our small group prayed over us.  They prayed for clarity and for our decision to do IVF or not to be a godly decision.  While they were praying, I felt a calmness and a peace around this like I can't even explain.  I clearly heard that IVF was not for us and we don't need to do it.  I kept it quiet, I sat on that knowledge for a couple weeks while Matt prayed about it.  Matt wanted me to tell him what I knew, what I had decided.  But I kept it in, urging him to be patient and wait for God to reveal to him what He had decided for us.  

When Matt had come to his understanding, he kept it to himself because he was afraid I wouldn't like his answer.  (Such a sweet and wonderful husband, never wanting me to be unhappy and wanting to give me everything my heart desires.  Thank you God for this man.)  Matt looked me in the eye and said, "I don't think we should do this.  This isn't for us."  The exact words God put on my heart.  

Now the weight of trying to get pregnant is off our shoulders.  We still want to have a baby, we still want to be parents, BUT God is in control.  This is His, we are His, our family is His.

Will we still have tough moments while we wait for God to reveal His plan?  Absolutely!  I've already been there.  I focus on our God who is faithful, loving, and so so good.  Pray for us to be protected in those moments of humanness.


Friday, April 17, 2015

This "old" girl's still got it!

We got our test results back from my AMH test.  This tells us the percentage of eggs I have left.  I got the results through the patient portal, so the number didn't tell me anything.  

Naturally, I went straight to Google.  I found a few decent resources that had me feeling pretty good.  Then I consulted the notes from the actual doctor and I still felt good. 

I called the IVF coordinator and left a message.  I basically said, so here's my number and I think that's good?? Give me a call.  Then I decided to go about my day and not wait by the phone anxiously.

She called back pretty quickly while I was out running errands.  I pulled over and listened as she told me that my numbers were really good.  My number is double the average for 40 year old women.  Last week, I was asked if I was nervous about the test results.  I really wasn't, I felt like the number would be okay.  And it was. 

Now this really leaves us with some things to think about.  After the nurse gave me my results, I told her I felt like I should be asking some questions but I couldn't think of anything.  I asked her what I should be asking.  She said we just needed to decide if we wanted to move forward or not.  She reminded me that we could take the information class no matter what. 

Pray that we can make the right decision.  That our decisions are in line with God's plan for us. Just pray what you are led to pray.  Our small group prayed over us a few days after we met with the dr and it was pretty powerful.  Prayer is an awesome thing and we are so thankful that so many people are praying for us on this journey to become parents. 

(Click the amh test link above or the infertility label to get updated)

High Five for Friday - April 17, 2014

We are so happy to have our old laptop back.  Thanks to my brother, Joe, for fixing it! 

1.  This week this girl caught her first rabbit.  She's been practicing for this her entire 4 years of life. 


2.  I ordered some new flips for the summer.  I love Sanuk brand flip flops.  The yoga mat kind are the most comfortable ever!  I bought them on Amazon.  Time for a pedicure!

3.  Last night, Matt and I walked to Mr. Le's Sushi for dinner.  He said, "Let's go through the neighborhood instead of taking the main road."  I was game for a good walk.  We were almost there when he said, "We'll just cut through the field.  There's a ravine we'll have to cross but there are a couple of rail road ties to help us."  Excuse me?!?!  What!?  I asked if there was sidewalk/road the whole way and he said yeah.  When he said field and ravine, I pictured acres of land we would have to traverse and then a deep pit with two logs over that we would have to  tightrope walk across.  Ha!  So over dramatic.  This was it.

4.  Today I got crafty and repurposed some jewelry.  I had this long mixed necklace.  It was pearls, rhinestones, and chunky gold chain.  I haven't worn it because of the chunky chain part.  It's too much for me.  So, I had some lobster clasps I had purchased to fix a necklace and put them to use.  A couple pairs of pliers later and I have some new jewelry.  The pearls are long enough to be a necklace.  The rhinestones are too short to be a necklace but not long enough to be a double bracelet.  I'll need to do some work on that.  The chunky chain?  Who knows?  I'll put it in my crafty box.

5. It's no secret that I would LOVE to have a 5-n-1 griddle.  It's a grill, it's a griddle, it's a Panini press, it's everything.  It's also expensive.  I have seen it at Costco for half that price, but I didn't get it.  The main reason is we just can't add one more thing to our tiny, cramped, lacking storage kitchen.  Bring on the waffle iron!  It's not a grill or griddle but it can be a Panini press!  Here's a picture of how it works.  Be sure to get your ingredients lined up while the waffle iron heats up.  You will need to work fast.  I have used hamburger buns and whole wheat bread.  I butter the outside, but you could probably get away with olive oil.  

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Quiet Monday

Yesterday was gray. The kind of day perfect for some quiet time to think and pray. 

Matt and I had the day off to meet with a new fertility doctor. He has been recommended by many people and we got an appointment pretty quickly. We had been told that he doesn't hold back or sugarcoat anything. 

He laughed at our former diagnosis of unexplained infertility. He wondered why I didn't have an exploratory surgery when I had the polypectomy.  He questioned why one drug was used when it's known not to be effective in older women. 

He recommends IVF.  He believes that my age is the reason we haven't gotten pregnant. He recommended IVF so that we don't waste time trying other drugs or the same IUI procedure that hadn't worked before. He also said that since we've had one ectopic pregnancy we are more prone to have another one. IVF eliminates that risk.  They have a 70% success rate, with a 40% twin rate with IVF. 

We met with the IVF coordinator next. She gave us a packet of information and talked to us. The packet runs down the process and gives the cost breakdown. Cha-Ching!  Let's just say 5 digits in that number!  Holy smokes. We aren't really thinking about that yet. Money should not be a deciding factor. 

We need to work through how we feel about IVF in general. The possibility of frozen embryos, the surgery, the medicines, the shots, the emotional toll, etc.  There is a class that addresses all of this plus financials, time off work, things to do/not do.  We will get the results of my anti-muilerian hormone levels blood test at the end of this week or the beginning of next. That tells them about my eggs. After that we'll decide which way to move. 

We ask that you pray that the decisions we make are in line with God's plan for us.  When we first started trying to have a baby four years ago I put my hope in getting pregnant. It's all I thought about.  I've changed.  I realized my hope was in the wrong place. I learned from our loss that God the Father is where my hope should be. His plans for us are perfect beyond what we can comprehend. Pray that He gives us a glimpse of what that plan is for our family. 

Friday, April 3, 2015

Date Night

Last weekend, Matt and I had a proper date night.  We got dressed up.  We went out to dinner.  Okay, dinner was at a place called Slim Chickens in Independence.  Not fancy, but we aren't fancy people.  It was pretty good. 

Then we headed over to the Independence Events Center to see Chris Tomlin in concert.  So good!  Rend Collective opened and then Tenth Avenue North performed.  Chris Tomlin was the headliner so he was last.  We had a great time!  Three great bands, three great performances, all praise and worship music, all for Jesus.

Matt bought me the shirt below.  It says Love Has Won.  

Here are my favorite songs from each group that night.

First up, Rend Collective - Build Your Kingdom Here.  We sing this song at church and it's so much fun. You can't help but dance!

Next, is one by Tenth Avenue North.  I thought I didn't know who they were.  The boy sitting next to me really loves this band and told me I probably would know some of their songs.  I ended up knowing every single song they sang.  My favorite from the night doesn't have a video on youtube so here's my second favorite.  No Man is an Island.  My favorite was Strong Enough to Save - check it out.


I hope you're still here.  Because this next song will have you up and dancing with joy.  Chris Tomlin's God's Great Dance Floor.   Turn it up!  This is a live version - fun!

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Baptism Present

Last weekend Maggie's son, Josh, was baptized.  Matt and I were invited to attend and go to a luncheon afterwards. Of course, I had to go. Matt had to work, bummer! 

I couldn't show up at a baptism without a gift.  Especially for Josh - gifts are his love language.  He's 10 years old.  I looked for something baptismy but nothing really fit for a 10 year old boy. I knew his family would get him a Bible so that was out. In fact, he got two cool Bibles. One was a grown up leather Bible with his name embossed and the other was like a comic book. He got some cool boy cross jewelry.  Maggie even found Legos that were The Last Supper and a Lego movie of Joshua and the battle of Jericho. 


Here is what I came up with. I thought about all the cute sayings to go with candy. Then I looked up scripture to go with candy. I got some good ideas online and came up with some on my own. 

Each candy or treat had an index card taped to it with a verse from the Bible that went with it. The instructions were that he had to find the verse and read it before he could eat or share. Here are all the candies and treats. 

The words of the Lord are sweeter than honey.  

Fruits of the spirit. 

Fishers of men. 

Peace of the God will guard your heart. 

In Him all things were created. 

Trust the Lord with all your heart 


Be strong and courageous. 

Jesus calms the raging seas. 

Our mouths were filled with laughter 

This was a lot of fun to put together. Josh loved it and so did his parents and grandparents. I can't wait until the next kid I know gets baptized!

Josh is such a cutie!

Snow Ice Cream gift

Did you know you can make ice cream with snow?  This is a fun recipe card I made for our three year old nephew. I gave him the card with a can of sweetened condensed milk and a jar of sprinkles. I wasn't quick enough to send a snow ice cream package to our other nephews and niece. But it ended up being okay.


We were supposed to get 3-6 inches of snow. Then they changed it to 1-3 inches.  We were on the low end, so not nearly enough for snow ice cream. That's why there are no adorable photos of Jackson eating his ice cream. Bummer!

It's super easy and fun. Before the snow storm put out a bowl to collect the snow. You want the fresh stuff, not the touched the ground stuff. A bowl just makes sure your snow hasn't touched the ground or been walked on. Then mix your snow with the sweetened condensed milk, sprinkles, and extract. 

Hopefully, we won't have the chance to make snow ice cream in Kansas City until next year.  Last weekend was snowing and this weekend was in the upper 60s. I'd like this warm weather to continue. I'll just save this idea for next year.